cheerios and chickens

So..in the literary department, I have succombed to the pressure of a certain daytime talk show host that rules the globe. I have come to a point in my life where I just don't have time to test drive bad books. I have to hear from other people that books are good and then I will MAYBE pick it up.

I first saw Liz Gilbert on a certain talk show, and she just seems so worldly and real. She could seriously sit down at my monthly Ladies' Night and she would fit right in. (Maybe a little bit of awkwardness because she doesn't have any stories about kid poop.. but I am sure she would make it work).

I also was told to read this book by my old lady book club that I TRY to attend once a month.
( I don't believe I have been since September...sorry ladies... gulp.... I have a few things going on right now...)


You HAVE to go get this book. Liz Gilbert is an amazing writer with so much honesty and openness and hilarity about living your living with YOUR expectations, not someone elses.


This is a memoir. She opens the book sobbing, laying on the bathroom floor realizing that she doesn't like how her life is going. She is married, trying to concieve a child, but secretly wishing she wasn't married and doesn't really want to be a mother. AT ALL.


Yes-- being married and being a mommy are 2 of my favorite things in the world... but her point is that you shouldn't do things just because you think other people want you to. I know I have fallen victim to that one once or twice in my 31 years...okay fine, 3 times. But that is ALL I am sure!


So anyway... my point and I do have one. Scrape up a few dollars or go to the library and go get it.

It will make you laugh, cry, blush, eat LOTS of noodles, want a hot Brazilian lover, and maybe even feel a little better about your life.

I have forgotten to post about my new life.



It is very simple and glorious.



If I have seen you in person, you know.



If you have talked to me on the phone... you know.



I have seemingly forgotten to tell the WHOLE WORLD via internet.



Let me explain this amazing wondermont...

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I. don't. have. to. change. diapers. anymore.



The week of Christmas... the duo finally...finally... finally potty trained for good.



I am a new woman.



I have a new life.



I am no longer chasing around 2 small argumentitive people begging them to go sit on the potty and "just try for Mommy".

I am no longer feeding them m&m's because they have "produced"!

I am no longer crying on a bathroom stool because 2 other shorter people are screaming their heads off because they don't want to sit on the throne.



I am no longer packing 10-15 size 5 diapers in a huge mother loving diaper bag and dragging it all over Central Ohio.



I just feel so damn cocky throwing a pair of Tinkerbell panties and a pair of Spiderman briefs in my purse and blowing out the door....



Cross your fingers that this holds.


Thank you planets... you have aligned. I will not forget you.

Well, it is official.. my blog bio is a lie. I am not 30 years old anymore. I am 30 plus one.

I officially turned 31 yesterday at 11:11 a.m.

What was I doing at exactly 11:11 a.m. you ask?

No, not that...

No, ahem... not that either.

I was driving around Amish country with my Joe trying to find new and different kinds of amazing cheese.

Boy.. was it work!!

If that is any pronouncement about my 31st year... I think I will be very happy and contented for the next 364 days.

Cheese is good.

Okay... so next week, Valentine's Day to be exact, Joe and I will celebrate 6 years of marriage filled with unending passion, love, and desire... ( or something).

( Or to those of you that know us even a little bit, you know that they have really been chock full of cheap wine, fertility drugs, and baby barf. )

My problem is ... I am racking my brain to figure out what I should get for his gift this year. I know that I could just tie a bow around my waist and sit on the back door step, but it might get cold, and the kids might start to wonder where the heck their mother is...but they wouldn't wonder that until they need more milk or goldfish crackers. ... so maybe if the weather is warm...

ANYWAY. Let me recap the gifts I remember....

1st year, I think we went to a fun hotel as our gift to each other.
2nd year, no idea...
3rd year.. the babies had just been born, so I got him a really neat framed picture of the wee babes.
4th year... weekend trip...but maybe that was my birthday gift.... the two do kind of blend together some years.
5th year , I bought him a parmesan cheese grinder (just like the fancy ones @ Olive Garden) and a sink stretching strainer. ..probably his favorite and most used gifts thus far.

6th year... I have no ideas at all. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

I looked on some website and I saw that 6 years is Candy and Iron. Okay.... huh?

Help!!!! Any ideas? What did you get your signifcant other for your last anniversary??

Grant was reviewing a tractor magazine today* and announced to me that when he grows up he is going to build combines.

Superb!! Great I thought! A Mechanical Engineering degree or Agricultural Engineering degree should do the trick. He should have enough money to put me in a nice retirement home or send me on lots of trips to keep me out of his hair.

I then asked Stella what she was going to build when she grows up. Stella thought for a minute.

"I'm gonna build Mermaids!!".

sigh...

damn...

It is now that I remember that I have a girly girl.

Just what the heck kind of school do you attend for Mermaid Construction Science?

AND how well does it pay?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

** I am home because there was little tiny ice storm that sent all of central Ohio into a tizzy.
I think everything is already melted!!

Labels: combines, Ice Days, mermaids

Today @ 8:35 a.m. I heard my all time favorite no homework excuse...

....clearing my throat...... ahem..... (whiny voice inflection....)

Anthony: "Mrs. Yungggg... I couldn't do my homework, I can't take paper home. "

Mrs. Yungggg: "What are you talking about? Where is it?"

Anthony: "Well, I just can't take paper home anymore."

Mrs. Yungggg: "Why can't you take paper home?"

Anthony: "Well, you see, my dog is allergic to paper."

So with the recent movie release, Bucket List, (referring to everything you need to do before you kick the proverbial bucket), I have been putting one together in my head. (I have also been reading Eat, Pray Love, by Liz Gilbert which makes you think about why do the things you do, and what makes you happy)

It is time I sat down and wrote some of it down. A lot of them are travel related.. some are just random.

1. Take Joe to Prague. I studied there in the summer of 1998. Prague is an amazingly beautiful city with almost all of its historical buildings still intact. Supposedly, Hitler wouldn't let anyone bomb Prague because when he gained control of the world... he was going to live in Prague. I think that plan fell through. (Chris... that was t-e-n years ago this summer!!)

2. Drink a bottle of Champagne for no reason. On a Tuesday. In my pajamas.

3. Go out west with the kids for a month. Get a mobile home, throw my lap top out the window, pack like crazy, fill the gas tank and just go be a family. Joe is really dying to do this when the kids are in middle school-ish.

4. Go to Disney World for the Duo's 10th birthday and Christmas. I don't want to take them there until they can really appreciate the cash we will be plunking down.

5. Work at a Hallmark. Don't know exactly why.. I think I would just really like organizing the cards, ringing people up, and having a job that really isn't that vital to the world.

6. See Blueman Group perform in Vegas.

7. Jump in the car and just drive anywhere for no reason and just be there.

8. See Bruce Springsteen live in concert singing Red Head Woman.

9. See James Taylor again and again and again and again in concert. I love him.

10. Own an electric car. I really hope this happens in my lifetime.

11. Make my own cheese. (stop laughing). I really want to buy a cheese making kit and learn how to do this. The Grocery Strike made me want to do this.

12. Go to Australia and New Zealand. All through my animal science and zoo experiences I have seen some wonderful footage and scenery .. (and I think the Wiggles have helped,) I really want to spend tons of time there.

13. Go on a cruise. Don't care where. I just want to do this. Be on the water, eat lobster at noon, six, and midnight all in the same day.

14. Go to Alaska and watch the start and finish of the Iditarod Dog Sled race. The Last Great Race.

15. Run a marathon... anyone want to start training with me?

16. Take a weekly Yoga class.... again... anyone??

17. Get Vanity Plates for my Volkswagen that I also don't have yet.

18. Drink a margarita in Mexico. I am sure they have to be better. And I am willing to be the guinea pig.

19. Hawaii. What more can I say?

20. Go with a whole herd of women to the Vera Bradley outlet sale.. can't wait.

21. Have a slumber party with people my age. Boy will that be a late night...sigh....

That is just what popped into my head on a Sunday night.
I am sure there is lots more...anyone else??
Want to share some of your drops from your bucket?